They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize