So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
My ATM looks so different sober.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
