dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
