I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
