it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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