Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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