i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
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there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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