we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
