how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
