all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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