It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
