I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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