Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Randomize
