My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
