Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
