she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
