if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize