Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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