Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
