That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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