went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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