There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
