I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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