Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize