And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
