Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
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There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
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So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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