my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Randomize
