Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
