as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
