Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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