she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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