who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
