K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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