i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "