You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.