She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..