take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do