Texts From Last Night

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  (330): View more from Ohio

  She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..

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  (330): She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating.. http://tfl.nu/qbj3
  Replies (45) Good night (1513) Bad night (5522)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.

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  (613): Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill. http://tfl.nu/ungu
  Replies (10) Good night (4617) Bad night (881)
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  (510): View more from California

  I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk

  (415): View more from California

  yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts

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  (510): I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk (415): yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts http://tfl.nu/5sxt
  Replies (49) Good night (8554) Bad night (1367)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?

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  (406): What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name? http://tfl.nu/6xxw
  Replies (10) Good night (4658) Bad night (1115)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...

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  (860): I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat... http://tfl.nu/q3ep
  Replies (5) Good night (1611) Bad night (693)
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  (530): View more from California

  Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know

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  (530): Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know http://tfl.nu/b7cw
  Replies (4) Good night (584) Bad night (990)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night

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  (613): Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night http://tfl.nu/lkdl
  Replies (4) Good night (1633) Bad night (554)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life

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  (603): Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life http://tfl.nu/vchk
  Replies (3) Good night (788) Bad night (656)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...

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  (303): Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"... http://tfl.nu/l31e
  Replies (7) Good night (1552) Bad night (576)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS

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  (410): IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS http://tfl.nu/c2np
  Replies (10) Good night (1099) Bad night (592)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched

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  (201): All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched http://tfl.nu/r5ws
  Replies (11) Good night (2858) Bad night (672)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower

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  (508): I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower http://tfl.nu/2amr
  Replies (1) Good night (620) Bad night (295)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...

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  (306): he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing... http://tfl.nu/oqmo
  Replies (2) Good night (312) Bad night (739)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?

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  (716): Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back? http://tfl.nu/1bv2
  Replies (0) Good night (466) Bad night (231)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.

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  (+44): He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED. http://tfl.nu/pyul
  Replies (3) Good night (972) Bad night (615)

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