ADVERTISEMENT

• (425): View more from Washington

  Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.

  Fav 29 1454 3382

  share tweet
  

• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I just cut my nipple shaving

  Fav 41 813 5146

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (802): View more from Vermont

  You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?

  (1-802): View more from Vermont

  The one in Montpelier?

  (802): View more from Vermont

  yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.

  Fav 53 745 2473

  share tweet
  

• (703): View more from Virginia

  My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?

  Fav 51 6342 1072

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (586): View more from Michigan

  there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.

  Fav 13 1906 3937

  share tweet
  

• (319): View more from Iowa

  For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..

  Fav 3 1331 2942

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (317): View more from Indiana

  How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.

  Fav 5 1613 3193

  share tweet
  

• (860): View more from Connecticut

  once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.

  Fav 19 1069 5954

  share tweet
  

• (816): View more from Missouri

  I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now

  Fav 16 2561 1084

  share tweet
  
• 

  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (979): View more from Texas

  For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.

  (512): View more from Texas

  You. Win. At. Life.

  Fav 34 2739 1257

  share tweet
  

• (614): View more from Ohio

  Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.

  Fav 7 911 1378

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (318): View more from Louisiana

  I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.

  Fav 11 2097 794

  share tweet
  

• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually

  (1-781): View more from Massachusetts

  Don't remember, didn't happen

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED

  Fav 1 906 532

  share tweet
  

• (618): View more from Illinois

  I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night

  Fav 2 582 412

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (423): View more from Tennessee

  I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.

  Fav 2 339 153

  share tweet
  

Randomize