Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
