i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
