Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
