It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Randomize
