Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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