I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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