you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Ketchup is God's man juice
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
