Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Why is there bacon in the couch?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
