Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
