I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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