Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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