i wish there were pregnant emoticons
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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