I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
The best revenge is premature balding
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize
