I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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