As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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