How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
