Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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