my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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