Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize