i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
