i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
