One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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