My first STD was from a foam party
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
