The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
