so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
