it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I enjoy the company of your penis
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
