is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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